Friday, December 23, 2011

Early Detection Saves Lives

Although I consider myself to be a huge football fan, I was an even bigger one during my high school years. Living in an Atlanta suburb during those years, the Atlanta Falcons were my favorite team, and their star quarterback was Steve Bartkowski. His skils and leadership at quarterback helped turn the team around, led the Falcons up from the conference cellar, and made us all proud to be Falcons fans.

The first overall selection in the 1975 NFL draft, Steve Bartkowski was also voted the 1975 NFL Rookie of the Year, and spent the first 11 seasons of his career etching his name in the Falcons' history books. He led the NFL in passer rating in 1983, and became one of only six quarterbacks in league history to post consecutive 30-touchdown passing seasons. He also led Atlanta to divisional championships in 1980 and 1982, setting several franchise records in the process.

A lot of time has passed since. In June 2005, then 53-year-old Bartkowski was at a backyard barbecue when a friend mentioned he didn’t look well. Bartkowski explained that he had not been himself lately and that he had noticed some blood in his stool.

Here's what happened next -

Source: HealthWatchMD

As Steve has shown both professionally and personally, a "passing" game won't always win it for you. To succeed, every once and a while you're going to have to clear a hole, and run it up the middle. Don't wait until the fourth quarter to make your comeback, win the game before the second-half even starts. Enough football ANALogies? How about this then -

Take Steve's advice. Schedule your colonoscopy earlier in life. Early detection saves lives.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Is Your Colon Really Cool?

If you're over fifty-years of age, don't just leave your ass hanging out and blowing in the wind. Quit procrASStinating and get it checked out. Colonoscopies are groovy. They save lives.

But, don't just take my word for it.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Have You Scheduled Your Colonoscopy Yet?

Look, medical experts aren't exactly sure how polyps develop, or why some people get them while others do not. What we do know is that the key to preventing colon cancer is a diet high in fiber, regular check-ups, and surgical removal any existing polyps. Don't believe all of the infomercial hype, there is no magic pill.

Don't wait until it's too late, schedule your colonoscopy today.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Ensure A Successful Probe

Hogan, Bend Over Or Get Sent To The Cooler
Each year more than 145,000 people are diagnosed with colorectal cancer, often referred to as colon cancer, in the U.S. and almost 50,000 people die from it annually. The disease, however, is largely preventable with regular screening and is treatable with early detection.

But, a recent study reports that colonoscopies done with suboptimal bowel preparation are associated with relatively high adenoma miss rates, suggesting that suboptimal bowel preparation substantially decreases colonoscopy effectiveness and may mandate an early follow-up examination.

In English, this means you're putting yourself at unnecessary risk by not taking your bowel-prep medications correctly or by not following the doctor's directions to fully clean out your system "before" the examination.

The effectiveness of any colorectal cancer screening program is critically dependent on adequate bowel preparation. Adequate preparation ensures that the colon is thoroughly cleaned before the exam so that the physician can clearly see the entire colon to look for abnormalities, such as colon polyps, during the procedure.

Cleansing the colon before a colonoscopy is called bowel preparation, or "prep." It involves taking medication that causes diarrhea, emptying the colon and making it easier to find cancerous polyps. While you may find it difficult or burdensome to take your medications as directed, your life may depend upon it.

Quit being a pussy. It's difficult enough to see through the shit of everyday life, let alone what you're leaving in your colon. Buck up and do what your health care providers tell you. They're not doing it just to seem important, they're doing it to ensure success.

Image Source: Linglie at

Monday, June 20, 2011

VAMC Inpatient Formulary

I've heard that this has been added to the local VAMC formulary.
Can anyone confirm this rumor?

Inject Responsibly
Source: carlosnumbertwo at Worth

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Patience is a Virtue

Don't Bitch at the Pharmacist!
I keep a bottle of these at the drop off window. Make sure to breath deeply and help yourself to one capsule before you start talking to me.

Didn't your momma tell you that patience is a virtue, or that good things come to those who wait? What I do is not an inconvenience.

I don't care if your husband is a cardiologist. I don't care if you have a cab waiting, are late for an appointment, need to catch a flight, or any other bullshit reason why I should rush your prescription. It's going to take as long as I tell you it will take to fill it correctly.

Believe me, I know that you'll be the first one to call the news station and hang my ass out to dry if I fill your prescription wrong.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Schedule Your Colonoscopy ASAP

There are some things in life you should be anal about.

CCS - Anal from Patrick Hachey on Vimeo.

The risk of getting colon or rectal cancer in your lifetime is 1 in 18.

This risk seems to be decreasing slightly as time passes. However, colon cancer is a risk for every individual. The risk of males and females is about equal. Similarly, the risk does not vary substantially among different ethnic groups in the United States. The risk of this disease does vary around the world, and it is felt that this is most likely due to difference in life style and, to some degree, genetic pre-dispositions. When foreign groups move to the United States, the life style and dietary changes tend to make the risks similar to that of other ethnic groups in the United States.

The greatest risk for developing cancer is after the age of 60. However, about 5% of colon and rectal cancers occur under the age of 40. Twenty percent of patients who develop colon and rectal cancer will have a family history of colon cancer. About 1% have an identified predisposition to colon cancer called familial polyposis or chronic ulcerative colitis.

The chance that a person will die of a colon and rectal cancer is about 1/3 the chance of getting the cancer. Increasingly, as tumors are identified at an earlier stage and phase, then we are able to cure these cancers. Colon cancer is the cause of death in about 3% of individuals who die each year in the United States. It is the second leading cause of cancer death in the United States.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Stay Out Of The System

You've abused your body or you've poisoned your mind beyond repair, or both.

All those years of overeating, couch surfing, smoking, drinking, drug abuse, laziness and stupidity have taken it's toll on you. Your life has now become FUBAR.

You didn't listen to those who told you how to live a long and fruitful life. So let me repeat it.

The first rule of longevity is to never become part of any "system". But you didn't think that rule applied to you and have now foolishly gotten yourself incorporated into the "healthcare" system, and now you can't escape!

So, now you come to me looking for help and advice.

Well, if you want it, you'd better appreciate it. The second rule of longevity is - I'm not your burger-flipping flunky acting upon your every whim. I'll be glad to help you through what little good life you have left if you show me some respect and consideration. Sit down, shut up, take your head out of your ass, and LISTEN UP.

Follow rule number two, and you won't have to experience rule number three.